Changing The World :-) One Smile At A Time

When I was growing up, one of my mother's favourite sayings was 'honey catches more flies than vinegar.' To which either my brother or I would inevitably reply 'who wants to catch flies.' Yet despite our childish derision, her words and their true intent remain with me still today.

In an age where service seems to be more often an idea rather than a reality it is all too easy to become justifiably frustrated with the people in our lives whose role we perceive as being to serve us. At least I know I'm guilty of this and I'm sure I'm not alone. Yet how often does expressing frustration result in a better service and how often does it just result in more frustration, along with a hefty rise in blood pressure?

I'm not saying that we shouldn't expect the best. Of course we should. But we should also offer the best of ourselves to those around us. So I'm having a bad day, or even a bad week or month or year, I'm not going to make it any better by sharing my misery around. And I've learnt by trial and error, many times over, that getting upset with someone over bad service, no matter what they do to fix it, never results in me feeling better about myself.

The other day at the supermarket I decided to try a different approach. I watched as the checkout assistant became more and more frustrated by the customers in front of me and line behind me grew longer and long. When I got to the front of line, instead of complaining about the wait, I thanked the checkout assistant for being so patient with the other customers. You should have seen the size of the smile I got back. Even thinking about it now still makes a big grin sweep across my face. Suddenly she felt acknowledged, recognized, valued ... all the things that we so sorely need but so rarely receive. Did I get any better service from her than the people in front of me? Who knows. Did I feel a whole heap better about my interaction with her? You better believe I did!!!

At the heart of this is our primal need to matter. The need that, in the time we walk this mortal path, we lay down lasting tracks that say to future generations 'I was here and I made a difference.' We are all aware how important inclusion is. How being the wallflower at a dance, or the person in the corner at a party or the last one picked for a team can destroy our self esteem. But recently I heard of a study that showed even acknowledgement by strangers can change for the better how we feel about our lives.

Now I am making it my mission to change the world one smile at a time. It doesn't take much, just smiling at random strangers I pass in the street. Saying hello to someone I pass on my morning walk. Smiling and thanking the person looking after the desk at the gym. Wishing the lady at the school crossing a great day. Thanking the bus driver as I jump off the bus. It takes so little effort, but it gives so much back to me. I feel good because I'm appreciating everything around me and the smiles and kind words that I get back every so often are an unexpected bonus.

So here is my challenge to you - join me in changing the world one smile at a time. Smile at a stranger, thank someone who is just doing their job and be amazed at how the world starts to feel like a better place.

And to get you started - here is your first random smile from me to you :-)

Old Dogs ... New Tricks

No one I know actually remembers learning to walk, it's just something that we do. Though our parents and other indulgent relatives may shout out heaps of encouragement, by and large we figure it out for ourselves. No one gives us instructions, one day we're crawling, the next we are standing and soon after we take our first steps. It's all as natural as breathing ... or so it seems.

A couple of years ago when I was in London with my nephew, he noticed my habit of catching my feet and stumbling on perfectly flat sufaces The joke of the trip became that I needed walking lessons and he offered to do the honours. Yet despite his best attempts, my feet kept going as they chose and I kept stumbling at the most random (and sometimes hilarious) of moments. ?It was just the way I walked, something I'd lived with all my life, something I couldn't change ... or so I thought.

When we embarked on our training for Coastrek, all sorts of aches and pains surfaced the further we walked. Some were old and some were new and we had a choice, live with them and maybe give up on our goal or find a way to do things differently. At the physio, Neil discovered that he had one leg shorter than the other and the longer leg had an extra bone in the ankle. All good reasons for HIS pain, and curable by new orthotics that worked properly. But for me the journey was far more circuitous. The great roller blade accident of '97 had taken it's toll and my back ached when I stood too long and sitting was painful. Walking was fine, I just was crippled when I stopped.

The physio did all the usual stuff with out much improvement. After a month or two he started to study my walk. Using the word 'ataxia' in what sounded like a very derogatory sense, he started to change the whole way I walked. Literally one step at a time until I reached the point a week ago where I completed our 50km walk. I was still full of energy at the end of the trek and when I woke up the next day all I wanted to do was go for a run. It was off to the gym on Monday and life is pretty awesome. Sure a few muscles need a bit of work but I still in awe of the fact that I could relearn to walk and the difference it has made.

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks but I'm living proof that you are never too old to learn, never too old to change and that help can come from the unlikeliest paths. Now I look at life a bit differently and I wake up every day wondering who I might become rather than simply accepting who I am. It's an exciting adventure and one well worth a try.